Good Company

i get married eight weeks from today. some days the time seems endless, an eternal distance that we've been traveling all our lives and will continue to travel until we shrink up and disappear. like reaching, stretching, swinging away at a bright shiny box that will always be just out of reach. all i want is that bright shiny box, right now. but other days, my heart begins to jump fast, my brain starts to swell. my eyes dart back and forth and my mind races mercilessly. where did the time go? how did i get here so fast? what happened to summer? what happened to childhood? i am trying, most moments, to find a sane balance between the two extremes. i am trying to give my days value, to make them count towards some goal other than to simply pass by.