the last few days have been a hug and kiss from God. the sunshine is keeping us company again, burning noses and jumping through windows to make me smile. our house comes alive in the sun, light burning through blinds on golden wood floors and the porch begging us to come, sit, breathe, smell, watch, absorb goodness. i have. i've spent time sitting and soaking and letting my mind work over, around and through thoughts i usually pass by. i feel a very real, concrete happiness in my stomach and head and chest. i feel divinely loved. i feel a divine love for others and more potently than ever for my family. its clicking. i am making the connections. "i can see clearly now the rain is gone".
Balmorhea - Sans Solomon

take me back to texas in pajamas with bad haircuts. i love these faces. 

my head is a mess

i want a wolf dog like the one on iosepa street.

just woke up in the library, back corner by the children books. head pounding from draping my neck over the side of the chair and falling asleep with these unbearably tight library headphones on. there is a chunky nine year old girl who cant get enough of me dozing off and is staring relentlessly every time i open my eyes. WHAT. i am having extremely peculiar feelings today. usually my anxiety revolves around a particular repertoire of subjects that i am both familiar and mildly comfortable with, but today has presented me with a new spectrum of worries. i have yet to discover how to articulate or dismiss these foreign feelings, leaving me with a sort of uncertain restlessness. it is hard to find a solution when you dont know what the problem is. ill go play the piano i suppose, thats a start. 

happy birthday momma, i love you. what a babe.