easter 2011. i love you.

if you replace the word foaming with floating, this poem becomes completely accurate to my situation in life right now. thank you floatopia.

i go through stages and cycles where all the wasted time i spent on the internet is focused on one particular thing. examples of these stages are searching plane tickets for trips i know i cant afford, finding the perfect pair of corduroy pants, looking for nannying jobs on craigslist, and reading the BYUH catalog. as of lately, its been an endless search on ebay and obscure south american websites for a hammock. i am determined to find my hammock counterpart. i know its waiting out there somewhere. or maybe i should buy a plane ticket to an obscure south american country and pick one out myself..

and so the cycle continues.

i really wish this was true. oh well, off to the grill with aubrey

oh the ghosts of easter past. i cant help but think that catherine (left) got the short end of the stick though...is that an easter solo cup shes got there? apparently i got lucky with a basket. i will also point out that i accessorize quite nicely. that bow is one thing, but those pearls. so sophisticated at such a young age, although i cant quite say what im trying to accomplish with my free hand. nevertheless, happy easter! officially springtime again (it is difficult to keep track of the seasons in hawaii...it really just fluctuates between hot, really hot, rainy, and windy). wont lie i was feeling a bit nostalgic this weekend, missing family and the thrill of waking up to easter baskets sunday morning, so i couldnt have been happier when i woke up to fake green grass, chocolate eggs and candy sitting next to my bed. thank you easter bunny erica, you made my day. great church meetings topped off the morning. now just looking forward to dinner with kait, aubs and cat. steak (foodlands supply of ham was completely depleted at 11 pm last night when we finally made it to the grocery store...sensitive subject), potatoes, asparagus, strawberry salad, rice pudding, rolls, and a delicious desert of banana cream pie, mama devine's chocochip cookies, and nellies chocolate covered strawberries. is your mouth watering yet? but what im really trying to say is no im not lucky im blessed, yes. i could not be more grateful for the life im leading. i have so many people to thank (why is this starting to sound like an awards speech)--my parents, my brother, my bigger better wiser sister hermana lindsay who is spending this easter on her mission in california, my little but still better and wiser sister catherine, my east coast family (tim, my girls), all the people i am head-over-heels crazy for in hawaii, sophs, ana, and countless more. you have taught me, one way or another, who i want to be and how to "suck out all the marrow of life". i love you. i love living.

but above all, on easter especially but every day, im grateful for God and for Jesus Christ. for love and happiness and genuine goodness. for change and the chance to be better. lots of chances. for clean slates. for big miracles but even more for the everyday miracles. for two hands, eyes, ears, a nose, and a mouth that work. for the ocean in my backyard and the sky over my head. i love you. i love living.

i used to think all one pieces were heinous. i have grown out of that opinion. im not sure if im completely sold on the common mormon slogan "modest is hottest", but i am definitely warming up to the idea of a little less skin and a little more room for creative design.

i have a very distinct memory of being a small child and looking at a blank piece of white paper and thinking, "there are so many possibilities for this paper". a sketch. a painting. a story. a song. a map. i marveled at the potential of a blank sheet of paper put in the hands of a creative mind. in any mind. i have since then filled up hundreds of empty pages with drawings, journal entries, letters, music scores, research papers, scribbles. i am determined to keep filling up blank pages.